Sorry but I would end the story here Because I dont have the courage to right more about that relationship already I missed all the good times and now I just cant write about it any more was trying to write but simply can't so Let me just talk about now and future rather than talking about what happened.......
Sorry again for an Incomplete story
Sunday, May 16, 2010
was ready to question her
Now that I have lost her only aim in my life right now was finding her.......but I wasn't aware about the news that was about to hit me hard.....the news that she got committed to her Best Friend.......I always knew they like each other.......But She couldn't even wait for a day before she go to him?
It was yesterday we broke up and today she is with him...... :-( Great I was so pissed of and was almost crying my heart out.......Just slept crying on my pillow and when I woke up it was time to go to work........worked whole night like a Mad.........for next few days only things I knew were work, eat, play and Sleep........
But finally after few days I got my senses back and now I knew what I am doing and what I will do......
One thing I was sure about If i would have done anything before that day it would have harm everyone because I was not in my control and I was not myself during that period......Only thing I am thankful to God is I didn't do anything wrong during that period to regret later......
But now I have the courage to question her and I needed my questions to be answered.......These questions I wanted her to answer at any cost......and...........................at any cost.....
It was yesterday we broke up and today she is with him...... :-( Great I was so pissed of and was almost crying my heart out.......Just slept crying on my pillow and when I woke up it was time to go to work........worked whole night like a Mad.........for next few days only things I knew were work, eat, play and Sleep........
But finally after few days I got my senses back and now I knew what I am doing and what I will do......
One thing I was sure about If i would have done anything before that day it would have harm everyone because I was not in my control and I was not myself during that period......Only thing I am thankful to God is I didn't do anything wrong during that period to regret later......
But now I have the courage to question her and I needed my questions to be answered.......These questions I wanted her to answer at any cost......and...........................at any cost.....
Saturday, May 15, 2010
2nd November 2009
The day it all Ended.........All the meetings, all the love, all the care that she had has way too soon......First thing that came in mind was "If it was suppose to end like this then why it started and If it is ending like this and it started it should have taught me something but what is that something'.
God....Few things are more confusing then they seem to be......Well our class got over and I left for home......Riding my Bike......for the first time in 3 months I was driving fast very fast......Only person I cared for was no longer in my life........WTF.......How am I going to survive now......Who will tell me am childish stupid but yet his cute baby.....*I know am not cute but when ever she said I am cute I loved it* I am not one of those who will believe what others say but I believed each and every word she used to say........and.......If It was to end like this.......then man I wont ever believe any one......
What will I do now whom will I talk to now........who will listen to my stupid singing and who in this world will care for a stupid moron like me......like always now I will be left alone.......Just like the way I used to be before when I didn't had her.........
Who was I when she was not with me......I was noone......Did any body ever cared to know Who Vipin is? No one did......except my few friends who knew I am something and who actually loved me the way i was......But do I have any one right now other than her ? Well I guess I lost each and every person from my life in the process of loving her more and more.......In the process of spending more and more time with her...I just ignored every one......and......Why the hell will any one of them will be with me now......when I was not there with them when they needed me....?
Boy.....I was so selfish...When did I turned into this little devil......Why Why why?
God....Few things are more confusing then they seem to be......Well our class got over and I left for home......Riding my Bike......for the first time in 3 months I was driving fast very fast......Only person I cared for was no longer in my life........WTF.......How am I going to survive now......Who will tell me am childish stupid but yet his cute baby.....*I know am not cute but when ever she said I am cute I loved it* I am not one of those who will believe what others say but I believed each and every word she used to say........and.......If It was to end like this.......then man I wont ever believe any one......
What will I do now whom will I talk to now........who will listen to my stupid singing and who in this world will care for a stupid moron like me......like always now I will be left alone.......Just like the way I used to be before when I didn't had her.........
Who was I when she was not with me......I was noone......Did any body ever cared to know Who Vipin is? No one did......except my few friends who knew I am something and who actually loved me the way i was......But do I have any one right now other than her ? Well I guess I lost each and every person from my life in the process of loving her more and more.......In the process of spending more and more time with her...I just ignored every one......and......Why the hell will any one of them will be with me now......when I was not there with them when they needed me....?
Boy.....I was so selfish...When did I turned into this little devil......Why Why why?
Monday, November 9, 2009
Finally We met :-)
It was 14th July 2008, when she came back to Delhi which meant now we can meet and finally we can be together but it was not as easy as we thought it to be.
At night, she called me up aronud 8:30 PM, with my brother in Delhi, I hardly get to talk with any one. If you dont nkwo let me tel you he is the one whos always after my life trying to catch me doing something wrong so that he can report it my mom. Anyways, I said, " Hi jaan how are you?"
She said,"Jaan this is Shruti's number so save this I will be buying my phone and the number tomorrow"
I said,"okay baby"
After this we started planning our first meet when and where to meet.
She asked me to come to North Campus because she doesn't want to go out to far for few days before she spends few days in Delhi and knows the place.
******She was right on her part but I like always didn't realise it at that point******
I said," Why dont you come to CP, we can meet there :-)
She said, No Vivan, Please try to understand me. I am new to this place so I can't move alone.
(She was right again and Again I didn't Realsie. Too Bad old habits go out late)
Any ways suddenly my brother came in and I cut the phone immediately.
Oh Shit, What Have I done she must be feelibg so bad about it.
(Atlast I realised my msitake. but like always I was late, she already got hurt, I knew about it when few hours later her call came)
I said, " Hi baby how are you ?
She said,"am fine"
(she didn't meant what she said. Her voice narrated her feelings, she was deeply hurt by me not understanding her, So was I for not understanding the girl who has come up miles away from her home just to meet me)
I tried consoling her but it didn't worked, then I told her that okay baby lets meet tomorrow as I have never been to North Campus I will come my friends.
She Said," Okay pakkaa aoge nah"
I replied,"Yes baby, Definately", "now give me a cute smile".
She smiled, hearing my words, I can imagine it sitting 27.25 Kms away from her.
I immediately called up my friends and planned this meet.
I was so damn excited about meeting her.
We were not able to talkwhoel ngiht all because of my Great Brother. But I knew one thing she is very happy right now. :-) So am I imagining her :-)
It was saturday I went to college to get all meet my friends and from there on go to north campus.
I reach there at 12:30PM, So did Jai, Vidya and one friend of Vidya and were waiting for sunny to come. He told us he will be there any minute so we were all set to leave as soon as he comes.
It was 1:30 when Shreya called up to check if I have left or not. I told her we are just waiting for Sunny, He will be here any moment.
We kept on waiting for him and he never came. With every passing minute I knew she is feelnig bad and getting hurt and I felt like taking on Sunny for coming late and indirectly hurting my jaan :-( Finally, JAI called up to cehck whats the status with Sunny and he said I will reach there at 3:30 PM.
Oh shit! If I knew he is such a Ass and will be late I would have never asked him to coem along or possibly would have left for North Campus alone only.
Finally, I realised its getting late and I won't be able to meet her today I called her up.
She said,"Jaan, where are you? aap nikal gaye wahan se? kitne der mein aoge?
The innocence in his voice and the love and eagerness to meet me showed up in my eyes as a tear fell down.
How should I tell her I can't come to meet you today? She would be feel so bad. She would be totally hurt :-(
She again asked Vivan! what happened ?
I finally replied," Shreya Sunny hasn't coem up yet and If I leave right now it will be very alte so can be make it some other day."
She said,"its Okay" and kept the phone.
I called her back and she was crying.
I told her what happened and I knew it won't help she was totally hurt. Firsly, She didn't wanted me to get my friends along but when she agreed to it, I failed to meet her that day because of those friends only.
She told me," she is fine and will talk to me later and the call was cut".
Jai came to talk to me,"He said its late now and he is sorry for what happened due to sunny".
Jai told me he will accompany me on Monday to North Campus but I was in no mood now to listen to anybody the person who mattered the most was hurt and was crying that affected me and nothing else.
Any ways after an hour or so Sunny and came and I left for home soon after.
At night, Shreya called up and she sounded low. She asked me, "if I really want to meet her".
I told her," I want to meet her but Everytiem I plan it something goes wrong and I don't nkow how to come to North Campus so wanted my friends to come along but that back fired adn I hurted you.
She said,"its okay", "now when can you come to emet me".
I asked," If she can come to CP on Monday".
She said," No, I can't and then my bro came and the call was cut.
Few hours Later, Shruti called up and said," Vivan! whats going on with you and Shreya? Do you even know how much you have hurt her by not meeting? She has come miles away from home for you and now you giving her a feelnig that you dont care for her.
She came for you and you not talking to her nor meeting her. What is this Vivan?
I knew this was due to come. I was not able to talk to her because of my brother being in Delhi and not able to meet her as well.
Finally I decided irrespective of what happened its raining chilling or anything. I will go to meet Shreya on Monday.
I called her up with tears falling from my eyes I told her,"baby, I know you sad because of me but dont worry I will come to meet you on Monday for sure". "Trust me, I will come".
She said," ok Vivan!
Whole Sunday, I spent in searching the route to North Campus and how to reach there and finally got the route.
At night Jai called me up to check if am coming to college next day.
I told him,"No, I am going to emet Shreya tomorrow".
He offered to come along. But after the Saturday incident, I was in no mood to depend on any one to reach North Campus.
Next day, the big day of my life, when finally I was going to meet my baby, my jaan. I woke up early had a bath and confirmed from her and told her I won't be able to spend much time today because I didn't e how much time it will take for me to get back. She said,"its fine jaan", "but please do come".
Her voice has a sense of fear that I may not come today also.
To ensure am on time, I left early and it took me something like an hour & 45 minutes to reach Shakti Nagar.
I called her up once, I got down from Bus and she asked me,"where I am right now?
I said I have reached Shakti nagar can you guide me from here.
She told me to take a Rickshaw and come to Kamla Nagar McD and She will be meeting there only.
I took a Rickshaw and went to Mcd Kamla Nagar.
I called her up to check if she has reached, She said she is standing outside Mcd.
I noticed a Cute girl standing outside the McD talking on phone.
Boy! she looked cute. I went near her and put my hand on her head & said Hi Shreya, She was so happy to see me. Her cute round face had a beautiful smile and I didn't forget to mention it to her.
She told me," Mcd is full lets go to CCD".
I said," Okay lets go!
We went to CCD and had coffee and after sitting for a while we decided to move out and went for a walk in Kamla Nagar. It was monday and the Market was close so no rush in the market empty spaces for walking. We just went walking and talking and finally came back to Mcd and had Burger and cold Drinks.
When we were having it, all the mean while I just kept looking at her, wondering how am I so lucky to get this girl. She is so damn cute unliek me how isn't ?
She asked me," Vivan what are you looking at?"
I said," Shreya I am thinking that you finally with me and now we can be together", " I have to elave but I want to be with you for little more time" :-(
She said," Vivan! you can go or you will be late".
She is so sweet, Cute and her voice is so beautiful and cute like a baby.
I know voice is not beautiful but her voice is. My name when it came out of her mouth sounded so nice. It was a feelnig I can't even express.
Everytiem she used to call vivan! it had something special in it.
Anyways the time came for me to go back and we walked till the palce I grabbed Rickshaw last time. It wasn't that close but holding her hands I walked and felt so nice. I didn't knew when we reached the place.
Finally she hugged me and I didn't wanted to leave her. But then I have to. She took a Rickshaw and left for Hostel and I took the first Bus home and came Back.
THIS WAS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE TILL DATE.
THE DAY "JAB WE MET".
At night, she called me up aronud 8:30 PM, with my brother in Delhi, I hardly get to talk with any one. If you dont nkwo let me tel you he is the one whos always after my life trying to catch me doing something wrong so that he can report it my mom. Anyways, I said, " Hi jaan how are you?"
She said,"Jaan this is Shruti's number so save this I will be buying my phone and the number tomorrow"
I said,"okay baby"
After this we started planning our first meet when and where to meet.
She asked me to come to North Campus because she doesn't want to go out to far for few days before she spends few days in Delhi and knows the place.
******She was right on her part but I like always didn't realise it at that point******
I said," Why dont you come to CP, we can meet there :-)
She said, No Vivan, Please try to understand me. I am new to this place so I can't move alone.
(She was right again and Again I didn't Realsie. Too Bad old habits go out late)
Any ways suddenly my brother came in and I cut the phone immediately.
Oh Shit, What Have I done she must be feelibg so bad about it.
(Atlast I realised my msitake. but like always I was late, she already got hurt, I knew about it when few hours later her call came)
I said, " Hi baby how are you ?
She said,"am fine"
(she didn't meant what she said. Her voice narrated her feelings, she was deeply hurt by me not understanding her, So was I for not understanding the girl who has come up miles away from her home just to meet me)
I tried consoling her but it didn't worked, then I told her that okay baby lets meet tomorrow as I have never been to North Campus I will come my friends.
She Said," Okay pakkaa aoge nah"
I replied,"Yes baby, Definately", "now give me a cute smile".
She smiled, hearing my words, I can imagine it sitting 27.25 Kms away from her.
I immediately called up my friends and planned this meet.
I was so damn excited about meeting her.
We were not able to talkwhoel ngiht all because of my Great Brother. But I knew one thing she is very happy right now. :-) So am I imagining her :-)
It was saturday I went to college to get all meet my friends and from there on go to north campus.
I reach there at 12:30PM, So did Jai, Vidya and one friend of Vidya and were waiting for sunny to come. He told us he will be there any minute so we were all set to leave as soon as he comes.
It was 1:30 when Shreya called up to check if I have left or not. I told her we are just waiting for Sunny, He will be here any moment.
We kept on waiting for him and he never came. With every passing minute I knew she is feelnig bad and getting hurt and I felt like taking on Sunny for coming late and indirectly hurting my jaan :-( Finally, JAI called up to cehck whats the status with Sunny and he said I will reach there at 3:30 PM.
Oh shit! If I knew he is such a Ass and will be late I would have never asked him to coem along or possibly would have left for North Campus alone only.
Finally, I realised its getting late and I won't be able to meet her today I called her up.
She said,"Jaan, where are you? aap nikal gaye wahan se? kitne der mein aoge?
The innocence in his voice and the love and eagerness to meet me showed up in my eyes as a tear fell down.
How should I tell her I can't come to meet you today? She would be feel so bad. She would be totally hurt :-(
She again asked Vivan! what happened ?
I finally replied," Shreya Sunny hasn't coem up yet and If I leave right now it will be very alte so can be make it some other day."
She said,"its Okay" and kept the phone.
I called her back and she was crying.
I told her what happened and I knew it won't help she was totally hurt. Firsly, She didn't wanted me to get my friends along but when she agreed to it, I failed to meet her that day because of those friends only.
She told me," she is fine and will talk to me later and the call was cut".
Jai came to talk to me,"He said its late now and he is sorry for what happened due to sunny".
Jai told me he will accompany me on Monday to North Campus but I was in no mood now to listen to anybody the person who mattered the most was hurt and was crying that affected me and nothing else.
Any ways after an hour or so Sunny and came and I left for home soon after.
At night, Shreya called up and she sounded low. She asked me, "if I really want to meet her".
I told her," I want to meet her but Everytiem I plan it something goes wrong and I don't nkow how to come to North Campus so wanted my friends to come along but that back fired adn I hurted you.
She said,"its okay", "now when can you come to emet me".
I asked," If she can come to CP on Monday".
She said," No, I can't and then my bro came and the call was cut.
Few hours Later, Shruti called up and said," Vivan! whats going on with you and Shreya? Do you even know how much you have hurt her by not meeting? She has come miles away from home for you and now you giving her a feelnig that you dont care for her.
She came for you and you not talking to her nor meeting her. What is this Vivan?
I knew this was due to come. I was not able to talk to her because of my brother being in Delhi and not able to meet her as well.
Finally I decided irrespective of what happened its raining chilling or anything. I will go to meet Shreya on Monday.
I called her up with tears falling from my eyes I told her,"baby, I know you sad because of me but dont worry I will come to meet you on Monday for sure". "Trust me, I will come".
She said," ok Vivan!
Whole Sunday, I spent in searching the route to North Campus and how to reach there and finally got the route.
At night Jai called me up to check if am coming to college next day.
I told him,"No, I am going to emet Shreya tomorrow".
He offered to come along. But after the Saturday incident, I was in no mood to depend on any one to reach North Campus.
Next day, the big day of my life, when finally I was going to meet my baby, my jaan. I woke up early had a bath and confirmed from her and told her I won't be able to spend much time today because I didn't e how much time it will take for me to get back. She said,"its fine jaan", "but please do come".
Her voice has a sense of fear that I may not come today also.
To ensure am on time, I left early and it took me something like an hour & 45 minutes to reach Shakti Nagar.
I called her up once, I got down from Bus and she asked me,"where I am right now?
I said I have reached Shakti nagar can you guide me from here.
She told me to take a Rickshaw and come to Kamla Nagar McD and She will be meeting there only.
I took a Rickshaw and went to Mcd Kamla Nagar.
I called her up to check if she has reached, She said she is standing outside Mcd.
I noticed a Cute girl standing outside the McD talking on phone.
Boy! she looked cute. I went near her and put my hand on her head & said Hi Shreya, She was so happy to see me. Her cute round face had a beautiful smile and I didn't forget to mention it to her.
She told me," Mcd is full lets go to CCD".
I said," Okay lets go!
We went to CCD and had coffee and after sitting for a while we decided to move out and went for a walk in Kamla Nagar. It was monday and the Market was close so no rush in the market empty spaces for walking. We just went walking and talking and finally came back to Mcd and had Burger and cold Drinks.
When we were having it, all the mean while I just kept looking at her, wondering how am I so lucky to get this girl. She is so damn cute unliek me how isn't ?
She asked me," Vivan what are you looking at?"
I said," Shreya I am thinking that you finally with me and now we can be together", " I have to elave but I want to be with you for little more time" :-(
She said," Vivan! you can go or you will be late".
She is so sweet, Cute and her voice is so beautiful and cute like a baby.
I know voice is not beautiful but her voice is. My name when it came out of her mouth sounded so nice. It was a feelnig I can't even express.
Everytiem she used to call vivan! it had something special in it.
Anyways the time came for me to go back and we walked till the palce I grabbed Rickshaw last time. It wasn't that close but holding her hands I walked and felt so nice. I didn't knew when we reached the place.
Finally she hugged me and I didn't wanted to leave her. But then I have to. She took a Rickshaw and left for Hostel and I took the first Bus home and came Back.
THIS WAS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE TILL DATE.
THE DAY "JAB WE MET".
So Close Yet So Far
Wow....am so much happy today.....She is here and here to stay for long.....will be meeting her.....and together will have lots of fun.......She called me up at around 2PM....
Jaan, You know what I got admission in SRCC, my name is there in the list 23rd Rank :-)
Man! she was going mad right now with the happiness of being a SRite and of being with me......
Controlling my excitement I said oh great baby. And what about LSR did you get into that ?
She said no I didn't and any ways who wants to be in LSR if you getting into SRCC.
I was little sad in between 100 reasons to smile i got a reason to be sad about. The reason being she is not getting into LSR which is near to my place but will be in SRCC which is like opposite pole from my place. Anyways She read the tension in my mind and said, Vivan, Come on! Kya hua if am in SRCC at least am in Delhi now, We can meet now be together.
I just heard the last thing " now be together" and smiled :-) Yes at last She will be with me.. Hurrayyyyyyy.....
Anyways she was supposed to get admission next day and I asked her if we can meet?
She told me " No Vivan, Dad is with me so it won't be possible for me to meet you right now.
I was sad hearing this but she consoled me saying " Jaan, Don't be upset, When I come back we will meet. Only few days more jaan.
Two days later she left for Chennai.
And I was left with the thought that She was in Delhi and we didn't even meet.
It was then that I realised " So close she was, yet far away from me".
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Admission and She came
Next day she called me up in the day time......
Shreya: Hi jaan
Hi bacha kaise ho ? was missing you...... (thought in mind: how come she calling right now at 11AM......not that am not happy am actually glad that the first voice I heard is of Shreya, but bit shocked because this is not the time she generally calls up)
So finally I asked her how come you calling right now.....where's your dad ?
Shreya said, " well dad is in office and she wanted to know when the forms will be out so that she can fill the form on time and book tickets to Delhi.
I told her that "forms will be out on 1st June to 15th June" and admission will be on 26th June.
She said, " okay fine, I will tell dad about it and he will make someone fill the form for me".
I knew she wanted me to say, "shreya don't worry I will fill the form for you", but I still didn't said that basically because of Guts again......What can I do I lack in this Field you must be knowing from earlier instance of STD calls :-(
Any ways finally she said okay fine I will talk to you later and she cut the call.
Next day she called up and said Vivan, you know what I am coming to Delhi on 24th June for admission.
Great baby! that's so good!
OH am so excited I will be able to meet her. Yay....
The call got cut because her dad came and after that she got her form submitted by one of her dad's friend and messaged me am coming to Delhi on 24th June and will be leaving on 22nd so wont be able to talk to you for few days.
I was so excited that she was coming to delhi that I simply forgot that I wont be able to talk to her for next few days. But then when she would be with me now all the time why Being sad about few days.
She called me up on 22nd and said Hi jaan am at railways station and am leaving for Delhi, will call you once I reach there, Bye.
She finally arrived Delhi on 24th June, the day first cut-off list for Du was scheduled to be out.
She called me up at 6AM to inform me that she has reached and with her dad giving company to her she didn't talk any other thing and the call was cut......
Shreya: Hi jaan
Hi bacha kaise ho ? was missing you...... (thought in mind: how come she calling right now at 11AM......not that am not happy am actually glad that the first voice I heard is of Shreya, but bit shocked because this is not the time she generally calls up)
So finally I asked her how come you calling right now.....where's your dad ?
Shreya said, " well dad is in office and she wanted to know when the forms will be out so that she can fill the form on time and book tickets to Delhi.
I told her that "forms will be out on 1st June to 15th June" and admission will be on 26th June.
She said, " okay fine, I will tell dad about it and he will make someone fill the form for me".
I knew she wanted me to say, "shreya don't worry I will fill the form for you", but I still didn't said that basically because of Guts again......What can I do I lack in this Field you must be knowing from earlier instance of STD calls :-(
Any ways finally she said okay fine I will talk to you later and she cut the call.
Next day she called up and said Vivan, you know what I am coming to Delhi on 24th June for admission.
Great baby! that's so good!
OH am so excited I will be able to meet her. Yay....
The call got cut because her dad came and after that she got her form submitted by one of her dad's friend and messaged me am coming to Delhi on 24th June and will be leaving on 22nd so wont be able to talk to you for few days.
I was so excited that she was coming to delhi that I simply forgot that I wont be able to talk to her for next few days. But then when she would be with me now all the time why Being sad about few days.
She called me up on 22nd and said Hi jaan am at railways station and am leaving for Delhi, will call you once I reach there, Bye.
She finally arrived Delhi on 24th June, the day first cut-off list for Du was scheduled to be out.
She called me up at 6AM to inform me that she has reached and with her dad giving company to her she didn't talk any other thing and the call was cut......
Father and Problems and then finally the solution
She told me she would talk to her dad about it. But the way she told me had a feeling of fear. Fear of the possibility of her dad not allowing her daughter to go to Delhi and she couldn't hide it from em though she tried to.. and finally she told me everything.
She told me that her dad is telling her to study in Chennai itself and now her coming to Delhi depends entirely on Khushi (her Cousin Sister).
I told her dont worry God has brought us together and he will do things to bring you to delhi so dont worry you will surely come to Delhi. Just talk to your father about it.
Next day she called me up.
I said hi baby how are you ?
She said, " am fine aap kaise ho ?"
She sounded dull and sad. So I asked her what happened baby ?
She said my dad is not allowing me to come to delhi he is telling me to study in Chennai itself & I dont think i will be able to bewith you now.
:-( :-( :-(
She was almost crying just the tears didn't fall or may be it did but i didn't notice....but one thing I realised was that she loves me a lot and she is waiting to meet me the same way I am waiting to meet her. Great.
Well I finally I told her to talk to her Dad about it and make him understand that even your friends are coming here & so is Khushi. So, whats the problem? Make your dad understand this.
She said, "okay jaan i will try to do this."
She was still sounding low. I guess I wasn't crying seeing her sad but my heart cried for her. I didn't tell her and tried to hide my feelings because this would have made her mroe sad and tensed that even I am unsure about whether she will be able to come or not. but i tried to console her any ways. :-)
Finally she talked to her dad and he told her you can take admission in Delhi but only if you get into SRCC or LSR.
Great! she has a good percentage adn going on past record she will surely get into one of them. We had the problem and jsut got the solution and from being sad last night we both are happily talking to each other and spent the whole night talknig :-)
Wow i was so damn happy :-)
Hurrayyyyyy she is coming to Delhi......
She told me that her dad is telling her to study in Chennai itself and now her coming to Delhi depends entirely on Khushi (her Cousin Sister).
I told her dont worry God has brought us together and he will do things to bring you to delhi so dont worry you will surely come to Delhi. Just talk to your father about it.
Next day she called me up.
I said hi baby how are you ?
She said, " am fine aap kaise ho ?"
She sounded dull and sad. So I asked her what happened baby ?
She said my dad is not allowing me to come to delhi he is telling me to study in Chennai itself & I dont think i will be able to bewith you now.
:-( :-( :-(
She was almost crying just the tears didn't fall or may be it did but i didn't notice....but one thing I realised was that she loves me a lot and she is waiting to meet me the same way I am waiting to meet her. Great.
Well I finally I told her to talk to her Dad about it and make him understand that even your friends are coming here & so is Khushi. So, whats the problem? Make your dad understand this.
She said, "okay jaan i will try to do this."
She was still sounding low. I guess I wasn't crying seeing her sad but my heart cried for her. I didn't tell her and tried to hide my feelings because this would have made her mroe sad and tensed that even I am unsure about whether she will be able to come or not. but i tried to console her any ways. :-)
Finally she talked to her dad and he told her you can take admission in Delhi but only if you get into SRCC or LSR.
Great! she has a good percentage adn going on past record she will surely get into one of them. We had the problem and jsut got the solution and from being sad last night we both are happily talking to each other and spent the whole night talknig :-)
Wow i was so damn happy :-)
Hurrayyyyyy she is coming to Delhi......
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Result time
This time as you all know i didn't screwed up and was with her talking to her trying to make her happy and take her out of her tension about result.
Baby dont worry you will get pass. (bloody shit what did i say just pass)
Shreya said, "I want to score good marks i will pass any ways". :-(
Oh my baby, don't worry you will get good marks and you will come to Delhi. Mera bacha mere pass ayega nah? I questioned her.
Shreya said, yes, I will come to delhi, to be with you. :-)
I guess she tried to hide her tensino from me to see me smiling, but she didn't realise I understand her more than any one now, its just that i don't want to be sad again I never you hiding.
Any ways Finally the day came. The day when her result was annouched.
She was sad about her result because she scored only 94.8%. Man studious people and there cries.
Oh God, who becomes sad after scoring 94.8%. If i would have got this much I would have been dancing all over Delhi. Any ways she got 199 out of 200 in Accounts......and 190 something in Hindi I guess, these were the ones I admired most. Many because Acconuts was my favourite and Hindi was my weakest. lol
Any ways she scored well and this meant that now she will get into SRCC pretty easily.
So we both were happy and she called me up at night.
Shreya: HI Jaan how are you?
I said am great and you?
Shreya was so happy that day I can imagine that from her voice. Her cute voice has become cuter actually cutest voice... I know there is nothing like that cutest Voice but she sounded so damn good today that i fall in love with her all over again.
She told me that now she will be able to come and asked me about when the forms will be given and everything.
we discussed about the colleges other than SRCC where she will be seeking for admission and her answer was LSR wow...thats so near to my place great...
I told her take it there only we can meet daily then...
She said, Lets see where I get admission, Have to talk to dad about it first.
I said, "okay baby".
and then we said love you to each other and continued our talks.
Baby dont worry you will get pass. (bloody shit what did i say just pass)
Shreya said, "I want to score good marks i will pass any ways". :-(
Oh my baby, don't worry you will get good marks and you will come to Delhi. Mera bacha mere pass ayega nah? I questioned her.
Shreya said, yes, I will come to delhi, to be with you. :-)
I guess she tried to hide her tensino from me to see me smiling, but she didn't realise I understand her more than any one now, its just that i don't want to be sad again I never you hiding.
Any ways Finally the day came. The day when her result was annouched.
She was sad about her result because she scored only 94.8%. Man studious people and there cries.
Oh God, who becomes sad after scoring 94.8%. If i would have got this much I would have been dancing all over Delhi. Any ways she got 199 out of 200 in Accounts......and 190 something in Hindi I guess, these were the ones I admired most. Many because Acconuts was my favourite and Hindi was my weakest. lol
Any ways she scored well and this meant that now she will get into SRCC pretty easily.
So we both were happy and she called me up at night.
Shreya: HI Jaan how are you?
I said am great and you?
Shreya was so happy that day I can imagine that from her voice. Her cute voice has become cuter actually cutest voice... I know there is nothing like that cutest Voice but she sounded so damn good today that i fall in love with her all over again.
She told me that now she will be able to come and asked me about when the forms will be given and everything.
we discussed about the colleges other than SRCC where she will be seeking for admission and her answer was LSR wow...thats so near to my place great...
I told her take it there only we can meet daily then...
She said, Lets see where I get admission, Have to talk to dad about it first.
I said, "okay baby".
and then we said love you to each other and continued our talks.
My External exam & she was alone
Oh well.....
First her board exam then a fight......i guess that's not what the doctor ordered for....any ways external exams started soon after her board exams got over.......Bad luck......because all these days I never studied and with low attendance bad internal marks. I guess it was time to study now.
But guess what! The only thing in my mind all the time was When will i talk to Shreya, when is she going to call me up & when will i hear her beautiful cute voice.....
Oh didn't I tell you her voice is really cute and its just like the voice of a baby. Well, Shreya always take it wrongly God knows why she do, because its a big compliment i guess because it means you cute like a baby. Well she knows she is any ways cute.
But with my first exam going pretty bad, I finally decided to study and thus resulting in ignoring her. Awww i felt so bad for that but what can I do about it, I other fail if i don't study and who will love the guy who just failed in First Year. She used to call me every day and i used to tell her i am studying will talk to you later, but my heart said talk to her. I got so much confused that didn't study for my Accounts exam and that was the worst paper I did so far.
While coming back from college I was thinking what i got by not talking to her. I didn't do well in exam any ways and was not able to talk to her. I felt bad for not talking to her and so did she, now i realised that she must have been alone all this time and thought of saying a sorry when i talk to her next time.
With these thoughts in mind i took the next bus home and got the same old question from my mom "beta how was your exam". With full honesty towards the Liar gang I said " mummy bahot acchhaa hua". My mom was like " humesha hi acchhaa hota hai bas marks nahi aate". I thought in mind "well that's actually true because i rarely study". Any ways i had my food and then planned to go to sleep so If shreya calls at night I will be able to talk to her all night :-)
Once I woke up, first thing I did was see my phone if she has called or left any message. I went online to check if she was there or has left a scrap on Orkut. but there was nothing like it.
Well I was thinking about why she is not calling me, But at night i got my answer when she finally called up. She was angry with me for not talking for past 2-3 days. Oh i knew i have hurt my baby again by not talking to her and leaving her alone. But it was again not actually my fault. It was a case where the circumstances are not right and what you do goes wrong. Any ways going forward the first thing i did was what every boyfriend does "Sorry Sorry sorry Sorry" but unlike most of the sorry that i would have said to people these were the ones that i really meant to say. F i was able to make her happy and cool down her anger & we were talking whole night. I was so happy after talking to her that in that happiness I did the Correlation ( statistics ) next morning and then waited for her to call me again but then came the bad news my brother Vivek is coming back to Delhi and i realised now it will be difficult for me and Shreya to communicate for next few days. She like always called me up and i told her that my brother is in Delhi so i wont be able to talk to you for few days. While saying this i realised that i am just leaving her alone again and breaking the promise i made last night. Oh did i forgot to tell you that every boy friend has to Promise that he won't repeat the mistake again with the 100's of sorry. I know she must have felt very bad and will be alone and that got to my mind and I no longer studied for the exam next 2 days. then one day before the exam i finally took out my books to study, but as always without talking to her it was impossible for me to concentrate on studying any more. So I my preparation for this exam was bad and next day when i got the question paper i realised the only topic i did nicely ( correlation: obviously we talked before that, that's why) was not there in question paper. May be the guy who made this knew i am only doing this topic :-( oh well you can guess how the exam would have gone, any ways next day my bro left and Shreya called up and was very sad. I knew she will be sad but this much I never thought.
Oh my baby what happened to you?
She said, " you don't even talk to me Vivaan, and just leave me alone as if I am no one to you".
I was already sad about my exam and not talking to her and her sadness made me feel it more. I tried explaining it to her but i guess its the difficult thing to make someone understand that it was not your fault when you know it was actually your fault. But I guess I was becoming good to it. She finally felt better and said "I love you". Oh I was dying to hear it for past few days. The three golden words that has made my life turn around.
Well for rest of the exams I finally cleared my confusion that even if I am not talking to Shreya I am not studying either. So its better to talk to her and and then i will be able to concentrate on studies may be.
But like all the twist and turns that our relation has been facing so far another twist happened and her dad came back and we were stopped from talking again for few days. Fuck now how would i survive these days, how would i study now, how how how ?
My exams were going very badly and more than that I was sad because i was not able to be with her & communicate with her. I knew she was alone and very scared Because soon her result will be out and she was afraid that if she scores badly she won't be able to come to Delhi and meet me.
She called me before her result and she was very tensed, not that she is a bad student and would fail but the tension was about scoring high because her second aim was getting into SRCC.
Her tension grew as the date of result came close and finally i was with her to share that tension. Thank God i didn't screw-up this time :-)
Friday, November 6, 2009
Board Exam, illness and the Fight
My internals ended and we started chatting and talking again but then after few days her board exams got started but she managed her time very well unlike me who never studied and only talked, She studied and even talked with me. What i did was the simplest thing just prayed to God that she scores good marks so that she can come to Delhi for graduation and we can be together but I was never been able to wish her before her exams. Saddest part was i always wanted to wish but was helpless. Reason oh i think you forgot, Its the same old reason, "i don't have STD in my mobile" and "didn't had the guts to call on her lane line from somewhere" because the first thought that came in my mind was "what if she gets into trouble", "what if she get scolded, so I decided not to call her & hence was not able to wish her all throughout her Board Examination. I was sad for that actually very sad because i was not with her when she needed me the most, when she needed my motivation and confident to go ahead and so was she. She was very sad about this and equally angry as well but she didn't realise it was not actually my fault. During the examination she got ill and was taken to Doctor she was really serious, problem in her stomach.
Oh Shit, what happened to her, what will happen now, when will she come back and call and tell what the doctor said, when will she be fine, all the thoughts just ran into my mind and i got mad thinking what may be happening there.
She called up next day and told me she has problem in stomach and its very serious and if she has another pain in stomach she would be admitted to Hospital....
Oh my jaan, don't worry you will be fine nothing will happen to you I will pray for your well-being.
She was very tensed about it. She really wanted to get well so that she can study and get good marks and then come to Delhi, and her illness was not at all helping the cause. But somehow she managed to study and give exam. but i was not able to talk to her all these days.
This made her more angry because she felt that i didn't care for her well-being but it wasn't true, I went to temple everyday to pray for her good health and marks. then after her last exam got over she called me that day we talked nicely but one night after that we met online and she blasted at me saying you don't care for me you didn't even call me to say good luck and also when I was ill you had no care to call and ask how was I?
I knew she is not right but she is not wrong as well :-( If I would have shown little guts I would have talked to her and would have been able to be with her. But any ways I accepted my mistake but we fought a lot that day and finally we patch up saying love you to each other.....
All was fine till I logged into her account and read her chat with Rahul in which he said I will be there if you have a break-up don't worry. I took it wrongly and didn't gave a damn to read what was it all about and broke on Rahul and Shreya. Finally the result was All was okay between me and Shreya but i had a major fight with Rahul. I lost a friend in Rahul and with him I lost Vidya, Divya, Manoj and many more. One wrong step and I lost so many people from my life. But I didn't realise it at that point as though I lost them I had Shreya with me whom I loved alot and who I knew will also be with me. :-) :-D
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